Advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure on students.

  

  

 "If you associate yourself with peer pressure or complacency, you are destined for failure". -Kevin Gates.

(Names have been changed for privacy purposes).

Dinesh (age 17).

''I started smoking when I entered 10 std. I didn't want to but all my friends were smoking and they forced me to join them. I knew it was a bad habit but I could not resist. After two years of trying very hard to kick the habit, I am successful. I regret that phase of my life but with my parent's support I have quit smoking completely''.

Neha (age 15).

''I love to watch movies but was not allowed to. My parents considered movies as a bad influence. When I was in 9 std, I had a group of like-minded friends. We were boisterous, and vivacious and were enjoying life to the hilt. We started bunking classes to go to the movies.

Our attendance dropped and our parents were called. My parents were shocked and pained to hear the teachers. Because of the lack of focus on my studies, I failed.  That hit me very hard. It woke me up to reality.  I had wasted one year of my life.

Today, of course, the scenario has changed. I am an obedient daughter and a responsible girl. And I realized that succumbing to peer pressure doesn't give you any productive life. My sincere advice to all the students is, to think before you take any steps, otherwise, it may lead to destruction.''

Sania (age 16).

''I was always a happy child. I loved food, especially junk food. My favorites were potato chips and all kinds of Chaats. I never thought of my increasing weight. I weighed a whopping 90 kg. But that did not make any difference to me. My parents warned me to control my bad eating habits. My permanent nickname was 'fatso'.

I participated in a school drama competition for my annual day function. When I came on stage everyone started shouting fatso, fatso.  I was ashamed of myself. I went home and cried my heart out. My parents started working on my weight. With their guidance and support, I started my weight loss program. It took me a year to get back in shape. But it was worth it. My parents and well-wishers made me understand the importance of being healthy and fit. I am now happy at 50kgs. I also realized that weight is not an issue but healthy living is.''

The above examples draw our attention to how peer pressure can wreak havoc in the lives of students.

''You would have no peer pressure if you cared less about the opinions of others''.- Jeff Moore.

What is peer pressure?

According to Merriam-Webster- Peer pressure is a feeling that one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group to be liked or respected by them.

According to kidshealth.org- Peer pressure is the pressure to conform (to do what others are doing) can be powerful and hard to resist. A person might feel pressure to do something just because others are doing it. Peer pressure can influence a person to do something relatively harmless or something that has more serious consequences.

Peer pressure plays havoc in the minds of students.  Yes, peer pressure has advantages and disadvantages.

These days peer pressure starts as early as from the age of 7 to 10 years. Children are under tremendous pressure to keep up with their classmates. Social media adds fuel to this by posting the latest trends in every aspect of life.  Small children easily get influenced by all this. They want the same dress, same bags, same pencil box, irrespective of their price, the list can go on.

According to study.com- Peer pressure is a form of influence that causes a person to reconsider their beliefs and possibly change their thoughts and behaviors. This influence comes from a person’s peers who are typically the same age, go to the same school, work the same job, are in the same social circle, or have the same interests.

What is peer pressure in simple words?

Peer means belonging to the same age group or the same social group. The influence the peers can have on each other can be good or bad. It's not always negative but today's competitive world makes it challenging.

According to the Cambridge English Dictionary - The strong influence of a group, especially children, on members of that group to behave as everyone else does.

It's a pressure that children feel to behave in a certain way because their friends are expecting it. They get encouraged by them and even change their own attitude, values, and behavior, to keep the group happy.

 The negative effects of peer pressure may lead to do wrong things. The wrong temptations lead to a totally uncalled-for personality, imagination, actions, and inappropriate thoughts.

The children may not have the maturity to understand what is right and what is wrong. For them, everything seems to be fine.

Students go along with the expectations of their friends in the fear that they may be otherwise boycotted or bullied.

''Peer pressure is you put on yourself to fit in''.- Jeff Moore.

Children should be taught not to get distracted by unnecessary thoughts, actions, and beliefs. Here, the responsibilities of parents and teachers double up.

The children are at a very vulnerable age. These issues should be handled very maturely and intelligently. The situation sometimes becomes grim and children commit suicide to escape from bullying and pressure.

''Don't let anyone hold you back. Don't let anyone dilute you. Don't be peer pressured into being less than you are''- Steve Maraboli.

Peer pressure has advantages and disadvantages. Let us first check the negative effects of peer pressure.

1. Mental State-

 Peer pressure can have adverse effects on children. Keeping up pace with their peers and not being able to do it may lead to depression, extremely high-stress levels, negative thinking, and behavior issues. They cannot decide their course of life. To keep their peers happy, they don't think about the repercussions or consequences of their actions.

They always keep on thinking of pleasing their friends and become very tense and stressed. This affects them mentally and physically.

''Why fit in when you are born to stand out''. - Dr. Seuss.

2. Taking the Wrong Path-

To keep their friendship intact, children sometimes choose unwanted ways to satisfy their peer group. They may get influenced to taste the alcohol, which may turn into an addiction later, smoking, cheating in exams, lying, skipping classes, and many more. The result is incorrect ways to please the group.

This is because of the fear of going against the group or being excluded from the group. 

3. Low self-esteem and self-image-

The children completely forget about their individuality. They lose their confidence and have a very low self-image. Their only goal is to follow their peer group blindly and be a permanent member of the group.

This dependence on friends damages their self-image to the extent that it creates so much confusion in their minds, and they become puppets in the hands of their stronger and richer friends.

''Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing a bit because someone's version of reality is not your reality''.- Jeff Moore.

4. Spending Beyond Capacity- 

The peer group consists of poor and rich children. (poor children are added because of their good academic performance).

The children who cannot afford the lifestyle of their rich friends, start stealing money from their parents' wallets or start telling lies to their parents.

When they get caught, all hell breaks loose. The grim situation at home makes the child recluse and he/she is targeted by his/her peer group.

''A bad conscience is easier to cope with than a bad reputation''. - Friedrich Nietzsche.

5. Distance from Family and True Friends-

When the child enters the teenage stage, he becomes more conscious of his/her status. He/she refuses to go with the parents or other family members on most of the issues. In some cases, I have observed that children start thinking that their parents are their biggest enemies. This makes them to completely shut them off from their well-wishers.

Negative peer pressure tends the students to feel bad about themselves because they are not able to live the life their richer peers live.

6. Academics get affected-

They are so keen to please the group that their focus shifts from the studies. They stop taking interest in their academics and the result is, deteriorating performance. Some students find getting good marks is so 'uncool'.

So, to please their peers, they shift their interest to other unnecessary activities or get bullied for obtaining good marks or grades, they do not pay attention to their studies thus leading to a very bad impact on their academic results.

7. Self-harm or suicidal thoughts.

To go with peers and fit in the group, students lose their self-confidence and their self-esteem hitting rock bottom, they may go into a shell and may fall into depression, feel anxious, and in general lose interest in their own opinions, values, and life.

They become lonely and this loneliness might push the students, especially teenagers, to attempt self-harm or even commit suicide

Is peer pressure always harmful? No. There are some positive effects of peer pressure.

An analytic approach toward peer pressure can positively impact the student's life. There are always two sides of the coin.

How can positive peer pressure encourage students to become good individuals?

''Not all peer pressure is bad. If you have peers who are pushing you to go further in life and believe in your dreams, then you got it made''.- Jeff Moore.

The positive effect of peer pressure can influence the student's life in many beneficial ways- like taking interest in extra-curricular activities, liking the subject, participating in sports and games, good food, and proper behavior.

In a peer group, the child has a feeling of belonging, feels secure, and gets the support of his/her friends. The parent's and teacher's duty is to check who is there in the child's group and know about the set of friends in the child's life.

Supporting the child to recognize peer pressure and to check his/her activities is an important task of parents and teachers. Teach him/her to understand and choose the group that boosts their morals and not bring them down in spirit. They have to advise them not to lose their own identity.

Another effect of positive peer pressure is the reinforcement of good habits, behavior, and attitude. It may introduce the child to a new way of looking at life which gives her/him, confidence, and self-awareness, and creates a happy zone for them.

Some examples of positive peer pressure.

1-Pushing friends to study harder and being happy when they get good grades.

2. Disapproving of bad habits.

3. Saving them from falling into ad company.

4. Inspiring to make positive changes.

5. Sharing the knowledge.

6. Offering moral support.

How to deal with peer pressure- 

Do not get distracted by unnecessary thoughts or actions. Schools and colleges offer many activities like sports, Gaining knowledge, information, dramatics, and many kinds of extra-curricular activities.

Learn and be determined to participate wholeheartedly in them. You may feel lonely and separated from other students, but it's always better to be alone than to be in the wrong company.

 Maturely take peer pressure. It may sometimes make you tense and stressed out. You have to be firm and bold to face any kind of challenge. Never allow external forces to snatch away your peace of mind.

If you are confused, talk to your parents, friends, and teachers. Never, I repeat, never feel rejected, dejected, sad, insulted, and fall into depression. School and college life has its own charm. You are on the threshold of a beautiful journey, don't throw it, and don't let it go.
 
Find out true friends, not best friends. Understand the difference. The friends who either inspire you or are interested in your growth are true friends.

Stay away from the group which drains your energy away and stops your analytical thinking and judgment.

As famous celebrity talk-show host, Oprah Winfrey says,'' Surround yourself only with the people who will lift you higher''.

Make friends who accept you as you are, and not what they want you to be. Remember that you don't have to please every friend of yours. Friendship is being together, happy, loyal, and should have good faith in each other.

Take yourself, your self-respect, and your self-image to the point where your friends won't even ask you to do what they want. And, maybe they start following you. Yes, it can happen!

A good peer group can motivate each other. You can inspire each other to do something which will improve everyone's overall development.

You and your peer group can put pressure on, yourself to be honest, avoid alcohol, never to touch drugs, to be nice and respectful to every person. In general, do things that will make your and your peer group's life worth living and meaningful.

Here, I suggest parents please make time for their children. Let him/her feel secure support of his/her parents. Nurture and grow the relationship to a beautiful journey. Talk to them, listen to their talk, and be a friend, and guide, and prepare them to be confident human beings.

Peer pressure is a part and parcel of growing up. It teaches the child to be bold and take up any challenges courageously.

The right attitude of learning to take peer pressure positively can strengthen the child's character and the journey of student life.

Bottomline-

We all want to connect with other people. Man is a social animal. We all want a sense of belonging in our homes, workplace, and our community.

Peer pressure is often seen as an only a negative interaction, but it can also help you to be a good person with the good support of peers. It can help you to become a more patient, resilient, and emotionally flexible person.

It’s about the choices each student makes. It’s up to the student to find a group that helps you in building you up instead of tearing you down.

 

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It's not easy being a student.

School- One word, six letters, millions of memories, thousands of mistakes, hundreds of stories, zero regrets. infinitive love, care, and happiness.

Today's children or students are facing myriad challenges and problems. This can impact hugely and significantly on their mental, physical, and emotional health. The reasons are for these difficulties not difficult to find. 

These shape their life by various factors such as geography, cultural and family background, and socioeconomic background. Most of the children face bullying, distractions, mental health, and academic issues, excessive screen time, and malnutrition. 

All this makes them very vulnerable and in some cases, they start hating the school. All parents should tackle these sensitive issues very calmly and with a lot of patience and maturity.

Let us discuss some of the problems faced by students.

1. Bullying. 

Bullying continues to be a huge issue in spite of several warnings against this by authorities. Children are bullied for various reasons. like, not studying well, physical abnormalities like being too fat or too thin, Being poor, and many other reasons. 

This makes the children lose their self-esteem and self-confidence. This pushes the students into the shell. They stop being friendly with other children, start hating school, and may face some mental health issues. 

This can reduce their focus on studies and get distracted by other unnecessary things. 

How to prevent this problem?

Actually, bullying happens everywhere. Let us agree that it gives tremendous pain and hurt to the receiver. As a parent and a teacher, this problem has to be tackled very sensitively. 

The school environment has to be positive. This helps in developing a healthy place for students. No student should feel scared, or unsafe in school. 

Teach children kindness and empathy. Kindness makes the student more helpful to other students and empathy teaches them to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

As a teacher, create opportunities for a positive connection with each child. Research shows that when targeted students feel connected to their peers, they are better able to cope with being bullied.

Studies prove that any art form can help young children see situations from different angles or perspectives. Rewarding positive behavior can also help children understand the importance of not bullying anyone.

Keep in mind that both- the receiver and the bulliver should not be biased. Be kind to both of them and create a healthy and positive environment in school.

2. Excessive technology use.

Smartphones, tablets, and computers can hold anyone's attention for a longer time. This reduces the child's attention on studies and even school. This can also lead to eyestrain such as blurred vision and dry eyes. 

Studies show that children who overuse technology may be more likely to suffer from mental health issues. Overuse of technology also has negative effects like lack of attention in school subjects, low creativity, and delays in language learning. 

It also results in a delay in social and emotional development and it may become an addiction. Apart from the negative effects and cognitive of excessive use of the internet may create a higher risk of falling into depression and anxiety.

How to overcome this problem?

It's nearly impossible and impractical to remove technology completely from a child's life. But some rules and moderation should be applied to stop the negative effects of too much use. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (APA) recommends an age limit for screen time.

Younger than 18 months, completely avoid screen time.

18 to 24 months, high-quality programs but with parents monitoring.

2 to 5 years, one hour per day, supervised by either of the parents.

6 years and above place consistent time and types of programs they watch.

Most of the parents give the phone or other screen to watch because they themselves are busy with their own screen time. Set a time for yourself and also for your child for screen time. Be a role model. 

3. Peer pressure.

This is also a big problem for students. Children should have friends but not the kind who boss over and in turn make the other child timid and force them to follow their own wish.

There are advantages and disadvantages of peer. Negative peer pressure can lead to mental, physical, and emotional health. The child may go into a shell and a kind of inferiority complex sets in.

It may lead to poor academic performance and the child may lose self-confidence and his/her self-esteem hits the lowest level. 

Of course, there are some advantages of peer pressure. The pressure of studying hard can lead to good academic performance.

The peer pressure occurs in classes from maybe 7th or 8th. Students themselves can handle any kind of negative peer pressure.

Children themselves should pay attention to how they feel. If they feel something doesn't gel with him/her then do not do it. Talk to your parents and seek help if needed. Do not hesitate to say NO if the need arises.

You don't need to be a people pleaser. Believe in your abilities and do what you want from your life. Do not be pressured by your friends. 

4. Too many distractions.

There are so many gadgets and external stimuli these days that it's natural to get distracted. Social media, friends, smartphones, television, video games, and parties with friends play havoc on student's ability to concentrate and focus on their studies.

Students should change the study environment if they feel their productivity is suffering because of unnecessary distractions. Create the right environment so that you do not have much distraction to take away your attention from your studies. 

How can it be prevented?

"Where there is a will, there is a way" is an old saying. You have to be determined to plan screen time and other distractions and stick to it. 

Installing a browser app that stops you from going on Facebook, or other sites for a certain period of time. Education is a very important aspect of everyone's life. So, understand the value of knowledge and wisdom and try to focus on your studies.

Parents have to be strict about this and monitor their children's activities.

5. Not remembering facts and figures.

This is a very common problem with students of all standards. Their complaint is how much they try to remember this, they are not able to do it. 

Their complaint is especially for maths formulas, physics formulas, History figures and facts, and so on. This is a genuine problem. This leads to an inability to answer exam questions effectively and correctly.

This is an extremely familiar problem. 

 The best way to tackle this problem is daily revision. I have observed students studying at the last moment and facing tremendous stress. Daily spending at least two hours regularly can help. 

Make a realistic schedule and meticulously stick to it. I have seen students paying attention in class and coming out with flying colors in their exams. They are proof that you don't need tuition or coaching classes to pass the exams.

Take your teachers and classes seriously and I am sure you will have less stress and tension.

6. Time management.

Any level of study involves effective and efficient time management. Time management is one of the major problems of today's students. 

Their days are cramped with school, coaching classes, tuition classes, and other activities like karate class, music class, guitar class, and so on. Children get tired of all these classes along with school work. Time management is one of the most crucial but tricky skills for anybody to master. 

To some extent, you can manage your time effectively. Make a calendar where you can note down all your important deadlines, exams, special classes, and other commitments in advance to avoid stress. 

Keep your calendar where c you can see it daily and know what you have to do. remember time plays an important role in your life so be alert about it.

7. Students feel low motivation.

This is also one of the most common problems among students. You yourself should have the sufficient internal drive to achieve good results and become successful.

Try to find out the reasons behind your low motivation. There can be many results. You think that you have something more interesting to do, you don't like the particular subject teacher, You are stressed out, You are not in the best of health- The reason may be any but you have to tackle these problems in a calm and practical way.

You cannot have everything that you like. Somewhere you have to adjust and adapt to the situation. For smaller children, parents can help out and bring them to love their school and studies.

8 Children fall prey to anxiety or depression.

The young generation of students fall into anxiety and depression. Every school has counselors and this the proof that students have mental stress. 

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), one in seven (14%) 10 to 19-year-olds experience mental health conditions. 

During this time students feel helpless, worthless, and uncertain. So it puts a tremendous burden and stress on them. 

Seeking help from parents and friends can help in reducing this condition. Setting healthy boundaries, changing lifestyle to positive habits, and meditation can help.

9. Exam pressure on students.

Throughout their student life children are bogged down by fear of exams. Parents add fuel to the fire by expecting their child to score first rank or highest marks. This puts tremendous pressure on them. 

This causes a huge physical, mental, and emotional burden on them and they cannot enjoy their school or college life. The pressure is not only from parents but also from teachers, society, and their peers otherwise they become buts of jokes.

The parents and teachers play a great role in easing this burden. Do not compare your child to other children. Each child has their own way to study and everyone cannot come first. See to it that your child learns discipline, kindness, compassion, obedience, politeness, and humbleness. 

These qualities are more important in life. Never pressure the children about their marks and grades. Let them enjoy their student life.

10. Parental pressure.

Many of the parents still have the age-old concepts that they think for success. One of them was a first rank or more than 90% marks. They think that this is the only way they can get a good job and make their future secure. And in the process, they kill their child's dreams.

This thinking has to be changed. The time is for more skill-based knowledge. Patents have to understand that marks or first grade have nothing to do with success. 

There are many examples where people have followed their passion and made a huge name, fame, and success in their chosen field even though they have their education halfway.

Every parent and child has to understand that the child must have drive, grit, willpower, and determination to follow their dreams. Hard work, smart work, dedication, and discipline play a major role in achieving your dreams.

Most importantly, let the child chase his/her dreams. Never, ever, pressure your child to do what you want them to become.

11. Outdated syllabus.

Today's children do not relate to their syllabus which is outdated. The time is a lot of technological and scientific advancements are taking place. 

So, the syllabus and course materials have to be updated to develop the child's knowledge otherwise they will feel inferior and lose interest, and self-confidence. 

This step has to be taken by educationists who prepare syllabi and course material. 

Bottomline.

Student life should be the happiest and most enjoyable phase of every child. Before becoming a student they are toddlers where they are completely dependent on their parents. 

After they finish their education, they are thrown into the sea and they have to learn a hard way to swim. The best phase is being a student. Let us try to make this phase the most memorable and the best period of their life.

 Preeti Bhandary, a parenting expert and co-founder of Little Elly says, "To address these pressing challenges, a collaborative and multi-pronged approach is essential. Parents, educators, legislators, and society as a whole must work in unison to ensure the well-being of children".

(Share the post with as many students and parents as you know.)